He abuse me throughout my pregnancy and became worse after the baby was born. He was a chauvinist man, who vowed to make my life miserable. He was an alcoholic and smoked like a chimney. I remember words that he constantly used: “I will tear you up and build you up the way I want you to be, wait until the baby is born”. I just kept quiet and never forgot those words.

Most of my abuse was emotional and financial. He physically abused me too, but not that much, although he tried numerous times to hit me by raising his hand (remember I was pregnant). He never wanted me to go to school, he never wanted anyone to see me, in fact I never knew his friends. He was very controlling. He didn’t allow me to have a baby shower for my child; I had to get an approval from him on what I wore, the kind of hairstyles I had on, the shoes I wore, and what I bought. He was demanding, especially for my money, even though he worked full time.

After living 9 month with him, I had enough and planned my escape. I planned to leave him 2 months before I gave birth. For those 2 months, I played along with him, being a loving wife, trying to be good to him, but also seeking advise from family and friends on how to escape. A month after my child was born, I left him. A good friend of mine helped me to pack all my belongings and took them to her house. I have nowhere to go so I went to on of the women’s shelter.

Now, I am a happy single mother. I am raising my beautiful child. I am also studying to get my bachelor degree, I hope to finish it soon. I met a man who doesn’t drink or smoke, he is a good man.

My advice, to all of you, women who have been abused or are still being abused, is RUN while you still can. Abusers never change. Save yourself and your children, you deserve to live free of abuse. You deserve a better and happy life, like me. I don’t miss him at all, I deleted him from my memory and my heart; he didn’t deserve a second chance. If you have been hurt and want to cry …let it out, it will make you feel so mush better, think positive, move on, don’t dwell in the past.

Have a good day everyone!

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